I couldn’t get past the first few paragraphs before the spelling and grammar mistakes made me shake my head and leave.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-08 19:07:46A little quick to the action but still pretty damn good. overall, great storyanonymous readerReport 2013-08-14 16:29:32good start. I suggest proof reading the story to make sure that you catch all the spelling mistakes, or get a text to voice program and have it speak you story. overall, great storyanonymous readerReport 2013-08-14 16:29:32good start. overall, great storyanonymous readerReport 2013-08-14 16:29:32good start. Please make a part 2.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-08 04:51:42Consider a lot of anal and some pee play too«12» 8 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2016-10-03 04:04:33the paragraphs are a little long. 8 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2016-10-03 04:04:33the paragraphs are a little long. overall, great storyanonymous readerReport 2013-08-14 16:29:32good start. slow down and give our excitement time to build up. I kinda got lost in a wall of text. I kinda got lost in a wall of text. I kinda got lost in a wall of text. also don’t forget about the mom.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-09 10:04:07Who cares how long it took to get to the sex or how
