So lets see if he gets to fuck all the girl on a big sleepoveranonymous readerReport 2013-04-09 18:34:57You move from past to present tense.djb8247Report 2013-04-09 17:21:11too much chatter and not enough action,taking too long to get father and daughter together,and repetious scenes,reasonable effort, score 4 out if 10anonymous readerReport 2013-04-09 15:05:08TOO SHORT OF A STORY: YOU TITILLATED ME, FINE BUT WHERE’S THE CLIMAX? So lets see if he gets to fuck all the girl on a big sleepoveranonymous readerReport 2013-04-09 18:34:57You move from past to present tense.djb8247Report 2013-04-09 17:21:11too much chatter and not enough action,taking too long to get father and daughter together,and repetious scenes,reasonable effort, score 4 out if 10anonymous readerReport 2013-04-09 15:05:08TOO SHORT OF A STORY: YOU TITILLATED ME, FINE BUT WHERE’S THE CLIMAX? 5 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2014-12-23 18:27:55I’m having to agree with the majority… OH, IN THE 2ND OR 4TH CHAPTER?«1»
