It needs a bit more fleshing out and then you’ll have itREADERReport 2007-01-23 16:21:31lame…not enough description…«12» The small amount of character development really strengthened the story even though it was short. The small amount of character development really strengthened the story even though it was short. Keep at it.READERReport 2007-01-24 14:06:01Good first try. The small amount of character development really strengthened the story even though it was short. Keep at it.READERReport 2007-01-24 14:06:01Good first try. The small amount of character development really strengthened the story even though it was short. It needs a bit more fleshing out and then you’ll have itREADERReport 2007-01-23 16:21:31lame…not enough description…«12» The small amount of character development really strengthened the story even though it was short. The small amount of character development really strengthened the story even though it was short. It needs a bit more fleshing out and then you’ll have itREADERReport 2007-01-23 16:21:31lame…not enough description…«12» Keep at it.READERReport 2007-01-24 14:06:01Good first try. It needs a bit more fleshing out and then you’ll have itREADERReport 2007-01-23 16:21:31lame…not enough description…«12» The small amount of character development really strengthened the
