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Suddenly, from behind the trees, we saw two huge cylindrical shapes emerge. There were two huge tanks, and when we got closer we saw that water was flowing from one of them. “Wake up!” she growled hissed, in a voice that seemed to hover on the heights of exasperation. A terrible thought suddenly struck me: what if they are asexual? When she finally climaxed she let out a scream so piercing that I’m sure even the aliens who organized the show heard it. I stretched and wanted to turn my back: maybe if I pretended to sleep on, she would have the good sense to leave without me having to see her again. More than two weeks went by, and of the multitude of animals that once crowded the shores of the lake, only three were now visible: the lion, the Siberian tiger and the crocodile. “Or maybe we should shout so the referees can hear…”

That night, victorious and holding her in my arms, I remembered how the announcement had sounded, “Till only the deserving species will