the plot holes are big enough to drive a semi through.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-09 15:19:16That was a pretty good story, but poorly formatted. way to much boring stuff and way to rushed what happened here in one day should be spread out over months. learn about dialog and paragraphs. 6/10Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-27 04:18:57real good but the BEERREADERReport 2008-01-05 19:48:25fuck the beer the story kicked ass KEEP the stories comingREADERReport 2007-11-27 22:44:46dude awesome story but what about the beer you need the beer«12345» 6/10Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-27 04:18:57real good but the BEERREADERReport 2008-01-05 19:48:25fuck the beer the story kicked ass KEEP the stories comingREADERReport 2007-11-27 22:44:46dude awesome story but what about the beer you need the beer«12345» 49 comments«12345»anonymous readerReport 2013-01-24 15:32:59needs a major rewrite the paragraphs started good but got way to long at the end. learn about dialog and paragraphs. learn about dialog and paragraphs. why did was she ok with fucking her brother seems she accepted it way to fast why was she being nice to him in the past when she wasn’t before.
