Don’t be afraid of using words and putting detail into things, tell us every movement, every thought going through the characters head. This story wasn’t enough to even get me going as there was less detail the back of a cereal box but like i said, there is a ton of potential here for you to make an amazingly sexy story. But there is still quite a bit of potential here. Please by all means continue, I am interested in what could happen next!«1» 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2012-07-17 12:49:02Length is disappointing, detail was lacking and what was said has been done a couple thousand times on this site already. Please by all means continue, I am interested in what could happen next!«1» Don’t be afraid of using words and putting detail into things, tell us every movement, every thought going through the characters head.
