The moments in which I thought I wouldn’t be able to endure it anymore, moments in which pleasure, pain, and fear of something irreversible happening to me mixed up so much that I’d get terrified, yes. It’s what I wanted. I was wrong. He didn’t want to pay for whores; he wanted the real deal, real experiences. How I don’t want to have someone… And I’ve been trying to avoid feeling this way about you for a while now. I was wrong. I moved my slender legs out of bed, and they felt wobbly as if they belonged to someone else. …
I was drowning in debt, finishing my senior year at high school, trying to make money for college, paying for my own living, some of my parents’ bills, they had so many medical debts… Even though I always seemed too shy to make it work, the job as a waitress was making me really good money. I’ll give you one last chance to run away. In a twisted way, me too.
