I don’t remember when it started but I began to get pleasure from being humiliated by men and I wanted them to punish me but to love me, unlike my father, who beat me, but without love and always attached to why God wanted him to. And I had fucked it up. But first, my signature. He put His hands on my shoulders to lower me to the floor. Humans also took this power away from the word “God” and gave it back to mankind to do with it what they could or would. I heard footsteps. Feeling helpless and vulnerable was what I craved. I couldn’t be sure since everything was still blurred from my despair. “These are manacles. I had searched for a long time and it happened.
