Not just because of him—but because I realized I wasn’t sure what I was more nervous about: the exposure, or how much I didn’t want to look away. He put both hands on my ass and massaged in circles with his thumbs. It was like some weird combination of panic, pleasure, and complete system override. I could barely think, let alone respond. I melted, dropping my head as he massaged little knots and sore spots I didn’t even know I had. It was overwhelming, impossible to process how good it felt. The biggest senior on the team—Jake, the one guy everybody seemed to know—stepped up right next to me. The biggest senior on the team—Jake, the one guy everybody seemed to know—stepped up right next to me. He walked away, towel slung low, big frame relaxed like none of this was out of the ordinary. This doesn’t mean anything, I told myself. Every movement sent electric jolts through me, lighting up parts of my body I didn’t even know existed.
