9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-08-21 01:31:51Do you think that you can finish it?anonymous readerReport 2012-08-10 10:18:17All they did was make out? Fuck thisanonymous readerReport 2012-04-20 12:43:23Geez! Agree with the thing to drop the background characters unless you plan to bring them into a teenage orgy in someone’s cabin.«12» And give the guy more “Alone-Time” with the girl.anonymous readerReport 2012-04-20 08:21:12Wow, really slow start! Didn’t know you could not use quotation marks in the comments. And I agree with the people who said to be less detailed about every movement on the ship, and every last detail about the people you meet. And I agree with the people who said to be less detailed about every movement on the ship, and every last detail about the people you meet. almost as hard to read as some of the stories posted here…Sorry, but my suggestions are still valid….lolanonymous readerReport 2012-04-20 12:41:29Overall, it has some potential. You might try using more words like “I’m” instead of “I am”, and “We’re” instead of “we are”.
